Donna, I am so sorry for your loss of your grandson. That is indeed a rip off. Your reflection on a sense of competition or assessing worth of grief is astute. The pain is so great. We can't fault ourselves for this seeming narcissism... or the guilt that follows... It is obvious you have compassion for others who are mourning, and I urge you to hold that same compassion for yourself. I hold it toward you. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Donna. I wish you comfort in your memories of your grandson.